Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Summer Traditions

In my new sweltering Colorado summers, a couple of steady traditions have developed. First off, my closest friend - who happens to be a furry beast named Simone - gets a gooooood shaving. I put it off this year for a number of reasons, mostly because it's so traumatic for her. However, day after day of watching her considerable form - encased entirely in thick black fur - flop desperately on the coolness of the bathroom floor, made me reconsider.

Some of you may recall last year's episode of Simone's adventure with Crytal's Clips, a mobile pet salon. This is such a great service. Crystal has been doing this for 20 years and she is highly efficient - I don't even have to leave the house. I just throw a towel over my cat's face like a Columbian kidnapper and bring her into, what she can only perceive to be, the Den of Torture.

As expected, there was much thrashing and deep gutteral growls that came from the bowels of Kitty Hell. I think Simone is a particularly difficult case but Crystal just buzzes on using various tools and devices to complete her task. I love the thoroughness too - the exact line of the booties and the precise poofiness of the lion tail. Simone, once again, now looks like a big rat - albeit, a much happier streamlined rat.

Then, there's the harvest. Last year, ya'll may remember the ridiculous bounty that was my garden. This year, I'm sharing my plot with my neighbors so I may not have so much extra. I granted them the first zuke (they are hard to eat from another city) but I got the second one. Behold, my first home-grown veggie of the year:

I've helpfully placed an egg alongside the monster zuke for you to grasp the sheer girth of this sucker. I feel like a proud mama ... except that I cannot wait to eat my baby. Tonight's the night!

Okay, so this one isn't a summer tradition - yet. Monday night, I was invited to be a guest player with Monkey's Uncle, that other fabulous Denver improv troupe. Okay, so maybe I whined a little to get the invite ("Hooowaaaard! When are you gonna invite meeeeeee?") but the point is, I wormed my little Rodent butt in there with the primates - howzzat for animal imagery?

4 comments:

Mrs.X said...

Finally! Someone who will admit to eating their young! For the record, I still have bitter memories of practically being force fed zucchini, so no worries about me wanting to steal such an admittedly fine specimen.

And Simone, oh baby girl - what a little lioness you are! I am very familiar with the yowls. I loved the image of you catnapping her like a Colombian terrorist. I think she got a better bargain, though.

Does she feel better? Is she willing to concede that it was worth the yowls?

fyrchk said...

She is too cute shaved like that! I do it to Bella too. Shave her down to nothin' but then she has the lion's head and long tail.

HOLY ZUKE BATMAN!

And the show Monday night was great! I enjoyed it immensely and I loved that you were guest-spotting at my first show!

hotdrwife said...

You have a GREAT photographer.

I miss the Simone. She needs some Me Lovin'. Such a pretty girl!

ClizBiz said...

Mrs. X: God, you made me spontaneously LOL at that first line. You're hilarious, girl. Simone will never admit to being wrong about anything but she does love flipping that tail puff around to make her point on anything. She looks pretty damn adorable.

Fyrchk: Glad you could make the show! You looked so lovely and fresh - which is what Colorado does to a gal. Welcome!

HDW: Yes, indeed, what you need is some shaved pussy.