Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Annual Summer 'Do

Normally, I try to avoid posting pet photos - it is annoying, cloying and that is what CuteOverload is for.

However, my dark unruly beast, Simone, got the shave of her life this morning and I just had to share. (It's about to get very hot and she's made of thick black fur - that has to be uncomfortable.) I tried out a mobile pet grooming service because it seemed like the weirdest way for my best friend to get the most bizarre haircut; I was right.

Crystal, proprietor of Crystal's Clips, pulled up in her trailer this morning and whipped out the longest extension cord I've ever seen. Her throaty smokers' voice meant business, "Did you fill out the form I sent you?"

Poor Simone. Formally a fierce feral creature from the streets of Alameda and now a coddled lady of leisure, she was completely blindsided. However, she has not forgotten one filthy word her former street vocabulary. She sounded like a kitty sailor in an angry drunken fight. Imagine a string of guttural feline expletives, outbursts of fanged violence and a few desperate attempts at prison break and you'll get the full picture. (She was named for another fiery creature, Nina Simone, who most definitely would not have stood for such treatment.)

Eventually, the Lion Cut was complete. You might be asking, "Heather, what in god's name is the point of the furry booties and puff tail?" Answer: None. This aspect is for my entertainment only and yes, I would surely pull similar stunts if I had children.

Anyhoo, I now have half a cat and cannot stop laughing. Crystal added an orange bow and now The Mighty S looks like a decorated rat with a blob of naked hanging fat. Of course, now that the coiffing nightmare is over, the cats' sensual side is immensely pleased and she's rubbing on everything, purring all over the place. Happy to have survived, I'm sure.

However, I have noticed that she is avoiding mirrors. Also, I am refusing to let her outside today for fear that the other cats would kick her shaved lil' ass.

7 comments:

Howard said...

Hurry up and move away from Blogger.

...so you had your pussy shaved, eh? As Paris Hilton said when she GOT OUT OF JAIL THIS MORNING: "That's hot."

susie said...

Oh my GOD! Tears from laughing so hard. Poor Simone she looks so odd. And now I know what Pete would look like if I did this to him only he weighs 23 pounds so it would be a lot more shaved pussy to laugh at.

cj said...

hmmm.... fill out form, shave pussy. i think i've got a new business plan! ;-P

ClizBiz said...

Thanks for all the shaved pussy jokes! I knew I could count on you guys! I figured it was risky following the previous post ...

Kath said...

Well...look at it this way. Next time we play Naked Jenga let's make sure to have Simone at the ready when someone (which would be Heather) pulls a Jenga tile that says 'Lick your pussy!'

And you just KNEW I was gonna mention that!

hotdrwife said...

That is rich. Just rich. I love it ....

You look simply maaaaaah-vulous, Simone!

I am singing "I Want a Little Sugar In My Bowl" in honor of her now ...

Kath said...

You know, she really does look cute with this cut. Makes her look more 'kitty-ish'.