The Annual Summer 'Do

Normally, I try to avoid posting pet photos - it is annoying, cloying and that is what CuteOverload is for.

However, my dark unruly beast, Simone, got the shave of her life this morning and I just had to share. (It's about to get very hot and she's made of thick black fur - that has to be uncomfortable.) I tried out a mobile pet grooming service because it seemed like the weirdest way for my best friend to get the most bizarre haircut; I was right.

Crystal, proprietor of Crystal's Clips, pulled up in her trailer this morning and whipped out the longest extension cord I've ever seen. Her throaty smokers' voice meant business, "Did you fill out the form I sent you?"

Poor Simone. Formally a fierce feral creature from the streets of Alameda and now a coddled lady of leisure, she was completely blindsided. However, she has not forgotten one filthy word her former street vocabulary. She sounded like a kitty sailor in an angry drunken fight. Imagine a string of guttural feline expletives, outbursts of fanged violence and a few desperate attempts at prison break and you'll get the full picture. (She was named for another fiery creature, Nina Simone, who most definitely would not have stood for such treatment.)

Eventually, the Lion Cut was complete. You might be asking, "Heather, what in god's name is the point of the furry booties and puff tail?" Answer: None. This aspect is for my entertainment only and yes, I would surely pull similar stunts if I had children.

Anyhoo, I now have half a cat and cannot stop laughing. Crystal added an orange bow and now The Mighty S looks like a decorated rat with a blob of naked hanging fat. Of course, now that the coiffing nightmare is over, the cats' sensual side is immensely pleased and she's rubbing on everything, purring all over the place. Happy to have survived, I'm sure.

However, I have noticed that she is avoiding mirrors. Also, I am refusing to let her outside today for fear that the other cats would kick her shaved lil' ass.