Thursday, March 13, 2008

Angst and Disappointment

I’ve got all kinds of weird feelings today. First of all, I debuted as a storyteller last night, warming up for the Rodents show. I think it went okay. I was relaxed and had a good time and that’s what matters, right? So, you think I would have slept soundly, right?

Not so much. Instead, I had this horrible dream where I was escorting my boss through some massive and mostly empty hotel. She wasn’t feeling well. Next thing I knew, she'd had a heart attack and collapsed. At this point, I realize that my boss is Hillary Clinton and she’s now lying at my feet, alone. There are no cell phones in the dream and as I run to get help, I realize that no matter what human I approach for help, they either don’t have a face, don’t have a voice or don’t give a shit.

I’m sure there’s a message in there somewhere about the mood of my country but at the time, all I could think of was, “Holy shit, why did she have to have a heart attack in the five minutes I happen to be alone with her? If she dies, I’m screwed.”

Toss, turn, toss, turn, toss, turn, and wake-up. Eventually, I go back to sleep and have this dream:

So, I'm having an affair and/or intimate friendship with Elliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner, who is really Eliot Spitzer, played convincingly by Eliot Spitzer. There was no sex action but clearly we are close and having a heated discussion. He is sad and out of a job but I got no love for him in the dream and instead am beating him up with words and fists. “I mean, what were you thinking? Who the fuck do you think you are? What are you going to tell your teenage daughters?” On and on and on. He just stands there and looks exasperated. His giant blue eyes (when he’s Eliot and not Kevin) keep welling up and he says very little.

Toss, turn, toss, turn. Oversleep. Late for work.

I’m not sure what the Hillary dream is about but the Spitzer dream is pretty simple. I’m appalled and surprised at the depth of my own disappointment in the man. Admittedly, I’ve had a crush on ES since he appeared on the scene a few years back to heroically save us all from corporate greed and those insurance motherfuckers. He was a breath of fresh air and I remember thinking, “Finally, a fearless dude with principles on OUR side.”

I don’t care that he had sex with a prostitute – that’s between he and his wife. What I cannot grasp is how someone in power gets so delusional that they fuck up their own lives. From an AP story on the Spitzer mess:

"There's the psychology of the exception," said Leon Hoffman, former chairman of the American Psychoanalytic Association's public information committee. "People in power sometimes feel they can do things that us, mere mortals, are forbidden to do. There's a sense, as with adolescents, that 'I won't get caught.'"

Jesus. I even heard on NPR that the reason he got caught was because banks now check high dollar withdrawals but they only check $10K if you are a private citizen. If you are a high profile politician with access to public funds, this amount is much lower. Who is the crazy person that put this trip wire in place a few years back?

The then Lieutenant Governor of New York … Mr. Eliot Spitzer!

For some great man/woman-on-the-street interviews on this whole mess, check out "Client #9 Gets 86 ‘d for 69" - entertaining stuff.

And please enjoy this spot-on editorial from MobTV’s Lindsay Campbell called “Bitch, Please” which wonders why the hell women like Silda Wall Spitzer stand by their cheating political spouses on national television when they really should be somewhere else – anywhere else - that day.

Anyway, I'm pissed at ES because his wayward free-spending penis has made us all vulnerable once again and Wall Street celebrates his downfall. He may have resigned but he'll have to turn in his superhero cape too and that's such a tragic waste. America needs all the heroes we can get. So why can't they just live up to the decency they demand of others? It's not rocket science.

Is it too early for cocktails?

The only good news in all of this is David Paterson, who will now be the first black governor of New York and definitely the first blind governor EVER. From what I read, it sounds like everyone - both Democrats and Republicans - respect the guy. Good luck, David. Keep yer pants on!


The Pagan Sphinx said...

A complex situation, for sure. I've gone around and around about E.P. I agree that is a lying sack of shit hypocrit but he did some good things and it's regretable that he's stepped down for that reason. What bugs me is how this latest sex scandal is obscuring the issues we need to keep on the forefront of our thinking and action.

Glad I found your blog. I think it's so cool that Prisilla, Queen of the Dessert is one of your favorite movies! I loved that film!!

ClizBiz said...

I LOVE your name! Thanks for your comments. I agree and hate that all the great work that ES was doing now has to come to an untimely end. Hopefully, it will move off the front pages soon.

Also, thanks for reminding me how much I love Priscilla - it's high time she showed up again on my Netflix queue.

Kath said...

Wow honey, looks like you had a 'facing your fears' brain dump all at once. Sorry I missed Storytellers...I was at work and started sending good vibes at 6:45 :-)

Yeah, Elliot screwed up. Big time. One of my staunch Dem friends is convinced he was set-up by the FBI and he may well have been, but no one forced him to dial a prostitute.

The HRC dream, maybe it's cause you admire what she stands for but you alone can't save her from her meltdown.

It hurts and sucks when those we love, trust, admire or just think are really really cool let us down in public and private ways. The image we have of them is crushed and tarnished and not only does it hurt them, it hurts us cause we trusted them and admired them and we feel betrayed.

We need more Super Heroes more than ever, but look closely and you will find them among us.

Like the Super Hero I know that had guts to start over in a town where she knew not a soul and eventually became a Storyteller with a bunch of Improv people that walk on mousetraps with blindfolds on.

You know??


ClizBiz said...

Oh, Kath! You are the best. Thanks for these uplifting comments. That last 'superhero' you described sounds like a CRAZY person.