Friday, July 03, 2009

Off to Aspen

Lucky me. After days of frenetic tasks - both fun and obligatory - I'm hitting the road and headed West to Aspen, mountain playground for the rich and pretty. A good friend is working up there and has scored a free hotel room - key word being "free."

My toes are painted red and blue and I've got a vintage dress given to me by Lenora Roman, friend and mother of the mighty Laurianna. Lenora used to wear it in the 60s - I'll try to get a photo of me in it - but you can bet your buns that it's red, white and blue.

Speaking of buns, I just remembered a holiday-themed childhood memory:

I'm probably about 6 or 7 and we're visiting family in North Dakota. This is the age where I follow my brother (age 9 or 10) around everywhere and, since he can't get rid of me, he starts fucking with me.

"Heather, Mom wants you." (She didn't.)
"Heather, phone's for you." (Nobody there.)
"Heather, ride your skateboard down this hill. The bottom is totally smooth." (Sand pit at bottom of the hill, I totally wipe out.)
And so on.

Y'know, just for entertainment.

So, we're playing lawn darts on the cousin's front yard. I'm watching, feeling like an outsider. I go over and sit down on a lawn chair. My brother looks over and yells, "Heather, you better get off that chair! Heather!!!"

I say my 6-year-old version of 'fuck you' which is probably something like, "Shut up, Robbie! I'm not listening to you any-" KA-BOOM!

Evidently, I had sat on a live firecracker.

At first, total shock from me, terror from the adults and hysterical laughter from the kids. I was picked up and taken inside where my shorts were pulled down and my ass inspected for damage. All I got was a terrible stinging welt but my ego had suffered the most damage. As you can imagine, the store is now told and re-told and has become a solid piece of family lore.

I found out later that when my father was expressing deep concern for my health, he was actually supressing his own hysterical laughter - a sacrfice that was much appreciated.

Happy Independence Day, everyone! Watch where ya sit!


Heidi's heart said...

A firecracker up your ass! Only you, Heather!

ClizBiz said...

Hey, I like to keep things interesting ...