Monday, February 27, 2006

Mobile Dysfunction

I just read the alarming fact that 15 percent of Americans have interrupted sex to answer their cell phones.

Um. I'm not sure where to start with this. I would like to know the gender break down of this statistic. I would imagine it would be mostly women since men have a more limited (ahem) window of opportunity for live-action monkey antics but who knows? You get a guy who is a workaholic bond trader or a Hollywood agent and he could reach for that thing in one sweaty Pavlovian swipe.

Which also makes me wonder what the occupations of these folks are? Unless you are a heart surgeon or for that matter, a sickly patient nervously awaiting a liver donor, I'm not sure I see the urgency.

Along these same wireless lines, I would like to share a golden nugget that my colleague* shared with me today. She returned yesterday from Spain and was groggy by 8 p.m. When her cell phone rang and she saw it was her ex-ex-boyfriend from years ago, she hesitated, but answered, "Hello?" She got no greeting in return but did hear voices.

She soon realized it was the sound of two people having sex and then, she recognized her ex's voice. And then, the nugget: The girl says: "Oh, that's okay. You're just tired. I understand. It happens sometimes."

See, now you would never get this kind of betrayal from a land line.

*a fine upstanding Christian from Indiana who turns red at the mere thought of telling a fib.


Tamburlaine said...

You gotta wonder how he pulled that one off (and I'm not talking about the nut he prematurely busted). Does he like to share in his humiliations? Was his being trying to say, "Look, honey, I have this problem with the other women too?" Or was it an act of divine intervention?

ClizBiz said...

Dunno but she called to let him know what happaned and he was MORTIFIED. Don't think it was on purpose so you see, there is some justice in the world. Especially since he dumped my friend for a woman who proudly admitted she had never read a book.