And If Cheney Doesn't Shoot You, They'll Just Ignore You To Death

Ah, the post-Katrina 'Where the hell were you?' mess rages on as New Orleans holds a jazz funeral for itself. As you can see, the ugly bathtub ring that encircles the majority of the city is not going to be scrubbed off anytime soon. Sure, Mardi Gras will go on, as will JazzFest but how comfortable is everyone going to feel come hurricane season? What fabulous new surprises will Mother Nature (whom we've been raping since we got here) have in store for us this time around?

Katrina left more than 1,300 people dead in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama, hundreds of thousands homeless and tens of billions of dollars worth of damage and guess who seems the most pissed off about it? A Republican senator from Maine.

That's right, the daughter of two mayors, who has probably never dealt with hurricane threats in her life, is there, front and center, asking the tough questions. I'm talking about Senator Susan Collins and though nasal nose Lieberman is in there with her (he asked Chertoff, incredulous: "How did you go to sleep that night?") it's Collins who is winning me over.

In any case, a 520-page Katrina report on the inaction of the government, top to bottom, states:

"The preparation for and response to Hurricane Katrina should disturb all Americans. Passivity did the most damage. The failure of initiative cost lives, prolonged suffering, and left all Americans justifiably concerned our government is no better prepared to protect its people than it was before 9/11, even if we are."

So, there you have it. Buy your duct tape, shop at Safeway (cuz it's safe!) and plan your day around government-issued orange alerts, see how far that gets you. All this fever about WMDs and what kills us in the end?

At this point, it looks like a combination of wind, water, cartoons and Tweety Bird sniffles.

Sleep tight!