Thursday, November 08, 2007

NoDak in the News

Let’s Hear it for the Homeboys: Wayne Hauge and Dave Monson, two North Dakota farmers, are taking the DEA to federal court next Wednesday, November 14, to argue for their right to grow industrial hemp. They've already successfully petitioned the NoDak state Legislature -- of which Monson is a member -- to authorize hemp farming.

As for any stoner concerns, Wayne and Dave say comparing industrial hemp to marijuana is like “comparing pop guns to M-16s.” While marijuana THC levels can range between 3-20 percent, Canada regulates its industrial hemp crops to contain no more than 0.3 percent. A researcher said "There's probably more arsenic in your red wine, there's more mercury in your water and there's definitely more opiates in the poppy seed bagel you ate this morning." Hemp, a former standard crop of this fine nation, is super easy to grow and has a bazillion uses like paper, auto parts, food and ethanol.

So, hey, how's that War on Drugs, btw?

Meanwhile, here’s a headline I never thought I’d see:

“Ozzy Mad at North Dakota”


Comes from the local Fox affiliate in South Bend, Indiana. Ozzy got his feathers ruffled after a Fargo sheriff set up a sting before Osbourne's local show last week. The sheriff invited 500 people with outstanding warrants to a phony nightclub party before Osbourne's concert at a nearby arena. More than 30 goodfurnuthins (folks who ignore court summons, don’t pay child support, fail to pay fines, etc.) showed up and instead of partying down, they were arrested. Book ‘em, Dano! Ha!

The phony “Ozzy-Rob Zombie pre-party” was hosted by ‘PDL Productions’ which evidently stands for ‘Paul D. Laney,’ the crafty sheriff. The hulking staff wearing PDL T-shirts were actually deputy sheriffs, probation officers and local DEA members. Bam! The long, sneaky arm of Johnny Law knows how to use a keg. Or at least the promise of one.

Said Oz:

"Sheriff Laney went out of his way to tarnish my reputation by implying that I somehow attract a criminal element, which is certainly not true. My audiences are good, hard-working people who have been hugely supportive of my music for nearly four decades."

God knows, Ozzy’s people are god-fearin, church-goin’, bill-payin’, pie-bakin’ folks. But what I really wonder is why only six percent of the invitees showed up? Not a very ambitious bunch, if you ask me.

Next time, PDL Productions should host a Ted Nugent pre-party, he’ll score a bigger batch of nimrods, I’ll bet.

3 comments:

Kath said...

"But what I really wonder is why only six percent of the invitees showed up? Not a very ambitious bunch, if you ask me."

Maybe they were stoned?? Hungover? Lethargic?

I can empathize with Ozzie that they used his name for false pretenses...that does suck and it's really not right to attach his name to an event in hopes of catching the deadbeats.

On the other hand, as long as they are not breaking the law, if it works, go for it. Double standard when you think of it, tho.

ClizBiz said...

Methinks he should get over and be happy that some kid is going to get child support thanks to the lure of his name.

Fang Bastardson said...

"Next time, PDL Productions should host a Ted Nugent pre-party, he’ll score a bigger batch of nimrods, I’ll bet."

Ted Nugent?! Nimrods?! Dude, I am so there!!