Monday, September 10, 2007

Today's Lessons

Imagine that I came home today and a Ward Cleaver character asked me the inevitable, "So, what'd you learn today, kitten?" Here's what I'd say:

"Thanks for asking. Here are three fun facts I picked up today while swimming around in the world:

You can FedEx horses.

Fewer jobs in rural areas means more young people enlist in the military. As a result, these families suffer more casualties per capita than the rest of the country.

In ancient Ireland, a king's subjects ritually demonstrated their submission by sucking on the ruler's nipples.

So, um, what's for dinner?"

4 comments:

Howard said...

Ooooh! So that's what's meant by sucking at the teat of royalty.

Heather Clisby said...

Suck on this, subjects!

quirkychick said...

That's weeeeeird....
the whole FedExing horses thing.
Where do they put the weigh bill?

As for the second thing you learned - that's just sad. Seems like that America is nothing more than PR, or a movie memory. I'm glad I got to experience it with my great uncle Joe on his farm in Washington, but it died with him.

Heather Clisby said...

Oh, that America is still alive and well. It's just caught in pockets between Wal-Marts and strip malls.