Sex on the Prairie

A recent news bit reminded me that in my beloved state of North Dakota, it remains illegal to move in with your beau or beau-ette or maybe even have sex with your roommate. I learned this a few months ago when a similar law was challenged in North Carolina. The media then listed all the states that still have this outdated law on the books (Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Virginia and West Virginia have similar laws) and there it was, NoDak.

I couldn't believe that the state the gave us the world's finest senator, Byron Dorgan, could be so backwards. (When Al Franken was asked on 'The Daily Show' which Democratic senators had actual balls, his response was, "Byron Dorgan and umm ….ummm, hmmm, let me think…. ")

(Mind you, I've never actually lived with any man I have been sleeping with so it does not affect me personally. I came very close one time - packed up my stuff, gave notice to the landlord - but when push came to shove, it didn't happen. Honestly, I have somewhat avoided it due to the fact that I own a truck, meaning people ask me to help them move. More times than I can count, I have witnessed the horrible tension of a co-habitation gone horribly wrong. Somehow, in my mind, I got the idea that if I am going to share a bathroom with a man, I want a shiny ring, a big party and a title change, at best. As always, this mindset has nothing to do with morality, which I carry in low supply.)

Another sharp state senator, Tracy Potter, a freshman Democrat from Bismarck, is asking the state legislature get a grip already and repeal the law. Mind you, this isn't the first attempt – similar efforts have been rejected three times since 1990. In typical NoDak fashion, Potter made a folksy attempt a common sense when discussing the matter with the Senate Judiciary Committee:

"Mark Twain expressed a simple view of people's personal relationships with government ... that I think government should adopt. That is, I don't care what you do, as long as you don't scare the horses."

Of course, the law doesn't seem to have stopped all those horny non-committal farmers. Census data indicate at least 23,000 of the state's 642,000 residents are living together as opposite-sex partners. "If we mean to enforce this law, we'll need a $10 billion prison," Potter said.

No word yet on what's to be done about homosexual cows.