Five Things You Probably Never Knew About Me

As requested by (Denver) Kath:

My favorite show is 'America's Funniest Home Videos': Let me be clear - I accept the current version only, with host Tom Bergeron, not the Bob Saget era, which is insufferable. Not only is this the very first reality show, it is the only one still worth watching. Furthermore, I believe very strongly that if countries could exchange these videos - showing the idiocy of all humans, not just Americans - we could solve some major political problems and global misunderstandings with a few silly puppies and accidental groin hits. How much could we hate Osama if we watch him fall off a porch swing into a wedding cake? In exchange, we could send any of the Dick Cheney Goes Hunting series and then we could finally bring our boys home.

I eat Everything: I'm quite serious. I cannot think of a food I do not like. When I was a baby, my parents were amazed, especially in contrast to my brother's picky eating habits, "I don't like my food touching!" At one point, my father pointed out that my lack of food preference may work out for the Clisby bottom line: "Just feed her dirt, she won't notice." This is also the same quality that made my friends and family shake their heads in wonder when I landed a job as a restaurant reviewer.

I have no tattoos: I considered a globe image on my ankle to commemorate my travels but I put it off for so long (I am afraid of needles, another fun fact) that my blank-canvas of a body eventually become a retro item.

Like HDW, I am adopted: At 10 days old, my old name, Virginia Wallace, was retired as I was brought into the Clisby Clan. Talk about incredible luck. This was my one big break from the Universe.

I make the World's Best Egg Burritos: It's true. I'm not lying. Ask anyone. Year and years of practice have brought me to the top of my game. Furthermore, I'm especially adept at creating them with seemingly bare cupboards. It's not just about rolling up an egg in a tortilla, my friends, it's about love, commitment and my special ingredient, Ring of Fire.