Thursday, October 07, 2010

New Horizons

No, I'm not moving to a retirement home, but I am moving into some pretty scary territory: Co-habitation with a member of the opposite sex. 
Now, I realize I'm a bit of an anomaly. Most folks fear snakes, public speaking and/or nudity, jumping out of airplanes - that sort of thing. I'm totally fine with any of those. Spiders too. Swear to Yoda - put a snake in one hand, a spider in the other, make me give a speech, rip off my clothes and shove out an airplane and I'd call it a good day.

It's the double 'M's' that freak me out: Marriage & Mortgage, those time-honored trappings of adulthood. I feel pretty silly about these hang-ups (okay, maybe not the mortgage thing anymore) especially since they are such common milestones in our society.

So I've arrived at a point in my life where the idea of standing still has become scarier than moving forward - no matter how many reservations and fears I may harbor. Good news is, I hyper-ventilate a lot less than I used to while pondering them. Also, the hives no longer appear. Progress, right? I mean, people do it EVERY DAY, right? Sheesh.

My partner in this endeavor is a very, very, very brave and completely insane man whom you may or may not know but for privacy/SEO sake, let's just call him Kirk. He's one of my best friends and steady supporters and I like to think I am the same for him. Kirk has been through a lot in the last few years, processing big changes and looking after the needs of others. The time has come for Kirk to learn how to become a Selfish Motherfucker.

I can teach him this.

Meanwhile, I've been, as my mother might say, "lollygagging" though life with numerous sessions of "fiddlefarting around" and my selfish ways must now cease. Kirk can teach me this.

 Y'see, when a person has lived on their own for so many years, they get used to having their own way about pretty much everything but the problem is ....... Um, actually. There is no problem. Living alone is friggin' awesome.

Oh! Unless you choke and die alone in your apartment and nobody finds your body for weeks. I always forget about that one.

Nevertheless, ClizBiz craves personal growth - ready or not. Truth is, I've been quietly seeking this unique living situation (more on that later) and it has been seeking me. And so here we are. Which is why the boxes are coming out of storage and the daily emotional highs/lows that come with imminent change have commenced.

 Please pray for Kirk.


Leslie M-B said...

Good luck! You're ready. Time to put on the Big Girl Mortgage. ;)

Mrs. X said...

Oooh! Happy cohabiting! You'll do fine. Seriously, it's a little hard at the start, especially when you've been used to YOUR space, but you will both adjust quickly and the next thing you know, it's been 20 years and you look like each other.

I am just tickled for you. :)

Susie said...

Kurt/Kirk is in my thoughts and prayers as are you.

Looking forward to tales form the next big adventure!

Anonymous said...

There is a fine line between brave and crazy- i'm fine with either.

hotdrwife said...

God, you know I love you and I absolutely adore Kirk. And it's totally exciting and I want all the friggin' details!

Sidenote: I am sitting in a shitty airport right now, and I literally laughed right out loud at the "selfish motherfucker" line. Good thing I have your drink tickets to look forward to.

Love you, and can't wait to hear more.

ClizBiz said...

Thanks, HDW! Appreciate the support. Prepare for random phone calls seeking your expert advice in co-habitation.

Kath said...

Good for you...and for Kirk. Has to be a huge change for the both of you.

I hear ya and know how you feel. My heart started palpitating as I read your post - just THINKING about cohabitating starts my 'fight or flight' reaction.

Living on your own is AWESOME! Coming up on a year since I sold my house, I miss my solitude and privacy. Yet, moving forward can be a good thing.

Fingers crossed!

xoxo to you both :-)

Heidi's heart said...

You are so lucky, Heather. I hope some day to have the experience of living with a man I love and who loves me. But in the meantime, it sure would be great to have a fun date. We'll see if things will open up for me following transplant surgery. Sure hope so. Good luck to both of you.