Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Back to the Real World

The entire 10 days at SXSW, I actively avoided news headlines. I guess I thought that if I left them alone long enough, perhaps First Frat Boy would get a labotomy and bring our boys home or at the very least, Vice would accidentally shoot Rumsy and Condi would have to fire them all.

But no, things are still shitty. And what's worse, the First Monkey is becoming more manic by the minute. Even lifelong Republicans are scraping 'W' bumper stickers off their Hummers. It's uncomfortable to watch; this public unraveling is giving Tom Cruise some serious competition in the Wacko department.

My pal, Fang, posted a particularly brilliant rant on the topic: "A couple appearances ago, his first audience questioner asked him straight-on if he thought what was brewing up in the middle east was the coming of Armageddon as spelled out in the Book of Revelations. If you caught his answer, you will believe a white man can dance!"

Meanwhile, all the anger the First Idiot hath wrought is really paying off for box offices abroad. That's right. Movies in places like Egypt and Turkey have lately depicted Americans on-screen as bullies, rapists and mindless killers - imagine that! Audiences are eating it up like giant tub of buttered D├╝kkah. In all fairness, these studios should really give Bush & Co. a cut of the profits - global paranoia as a marketing plan! Brilliant! Let's see Bruckheimer do better. Meanwhile, ya'll might want to tuck away that passport for awhile.


Sooo, how about that Mount Rushmore?

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