Hi! You've reach the voice mail of Heather. I'm not here right now because starting right this very second, I'm on vacation. You heard me. The quitting time whistle is blowing and I'm yabba-dabba doin'.
For the next week or so, I'm climbing out of the corporate salt mines and trading it all in for a much-needed Whiskey Dew/gumbo transfusion on the Mississippi bayou with the family tribe. I realize that my recreational plans may cause some inconvenience to your status meeting and derail a few deadlines so I promise to check messages sporadically, if I remember ... maybe.
However, if this is a bona-fide white collar emergency, dial 9-1-1 and tell them you got a coupon off the internet, so they need to make it there in five minutes or less or its free. Our lawyers will back you up.
If you do manage to reach me, I apologize in advance for my slurring. No, I'll be fine, I'll just be ... y'know, tired, that's all. Also, ignore the screaming in the background ... that'll just be a healthy batch of joyful children, I'm sure. Plus a few (ahem) other types. Should you attempt to conference me in, I will be busily engaged in one of three things - drinking, fishing, practicing guitar, drinking or laughing.
Hmmm, looks like my math skills took off early.
Well, it should be a quiet business period anyway. This week kicks off Chinese New Year, launches Carnaval and wraps up Mardi Gras. With me gone on top of that, the media might have to actually start reporting on the Anna Nicole Smith case that we haven't heard much about. As my primo, Mat, commented, this very evening: "Yes, when great powers - Brazil, China and Heather - close down, the global economy grinds to a halt."
Meantime, go ahead and set up something for us on Outlook and send along an agenda. I'll download the data and create some action items for us to brainstorm when I return to civilization.
Have a nice day!
Now, get me the fuck outta here ....