Okay, so that is not entirely true but I'm competing with the tabloids here. I came across this story and felt it was my obligation – nay, my duty – to pass it along. It possesses my favorite mix of emotional elements: truly heartwarming, totally disturbing yet somewhat hopeful.
Apparently, Israel Sarrio in Valencia, Spain got his arm … er, detached from messing around with a drainage ditch. He then walked in to the local hospital carrying the limb, assumingly yelling some Spanish version of "Holy fuck!"
The doctors hurriedly stitched it back to his stump but soon realized that the sewer water was going to spread infection. They had to quickly relocate the arm to another part of his body to keep it viable while they cleared away infected areas with antibiotics.
After what must have been a very bizarre family conference, doctors chose the groin. The story is, when the guy woke up, doctors had to quickly explain Israel's new tripod status before he could look down and see for himself. (I mean, some jarring images just do not leave the brain.) Even more troubling, he had to stay that way for NINE DAYS.
Can you imagine????
Good new is, Israel's arm has been successfully reattached and he's undergoing physical therapy. Doctors expect him to return almost-normal status. (For you sickos, more detailed photos can be found here.)
Other freaky things I found today's news: You can buy a four-bedroom house with a three-car garage and a big front porch for $150,000 with a view of a river valley … in North Dakota.