Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Dick Cheney is a Scrotum-less Toad

Gosh. Today has been a hyper-productive day. Odd too since I slept horribly last night. Perhaps I should make a habit of it.

I got so many errands accomplished that I'm even feeling multi-taskable in my political anger. That's right, I'm pissed in several directions today, instead of my usual one-global-gripe-at-a-time.

Let's take stock:

Fang sent me this mind-boggling headline first thing so I had suitable warning. Otherwise, I may have barfed up my Cheerios had I stumbled across it on my own:

"Bush: Democrats shouldn't be trusted to run Congress"

I've got a zillion zany comebacks for that but really, it's kind of an all-in-one joke wrapped in a headline. Not much needs to be done here, especially when surrounded by headlines about Republican sex scandals, Iran/N. Korea nuclear plans, the terrorist training camp we created in Iraq and Condi swearing on her fully-intact hymen that she does not recall receiving any warnings pre-9/11.

More rage came when the Republicans took the only natural tack they know and blamed the Democrats for Mark Foley's touchy feely Instant Messenger ways. Foley, desperate to hide, took a tip from Hollywood – he checked in to rehab. Next thing you know, he'll be hosting Saturday Night Live.

This one, however, takes the cake, this is the Wile E. Coyote Acme TNT that exploded in my face, covering my day with black soot. With all the other hijinks, this may not make national news, I read it in the Denver Post, so let me enlighten thee:

Back in June, Steven Howards, (from Golden, CO) was vacationing with his family in Beaver Creek when he spotted Cheney in an outdoor mall shaking hands and posing for photos. Seizing opportunity, Howards and his son walked over and told Cheney that his policies in Iraq are "reprehensible." Howards then left the scene, walking his son to his piano lessons, only to then be apprehended by the Secret Service, handcuffed and arrested for assault.

Yes, this is what is has come to, folks. A sniveling worm of a man who takes his paycheck from yours, mine and Mr. Howard's – a feckless coward who lives in public housing – cannot be spoken to in the light of day, in front of God and the Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick girls, without having the ballsy citizen strong-armed into submission. Red-staters, take a hard look - this is your country now. Feel safe?

The fun part is, Howards is suing the SS officer who arrested him, stating: "It's such a blatant attempt to suppress a right to free speech. Such a traumatic event for my son, I couldn't just let it pass." Three cheers for Howard!

God, I can't wait until Dickless Cheney no longer has taxpayer goombas to keep him from getting jumped on the playground. That fat fuck better watch his back next quail season.

Well, my work here is done ... G'night everyone!

6 comments:

Tamburlaine said...

For a man whose every breath emanates war, famine, and pestilence, Cheney really is a candy ass, isn't he?

What a tosser ...

hubs said...

wow. scathing. i loved it. and i usually hate all the bitchy, whiney posts.

Anonymous said...

You go, girl!

thehistorychic said...

BRAVO!!!! You hit the nail on the head with that post :)

Fang Bastardson said...

You never go wrong pointing out the fecklessness of the Bush team. They wouldn't know a good feck if it walked up to them and chewed the callouses off their elbows.

hotdrwife said...

I'm now a fan of the phrase "a scrotumless toad", myself.