Wednesday, August 31, 2005

All Too Surreal

Though I came to the office today, determined to focus on my pressing deadlines and not the idea that my brother is dead . . . I'm finding that incredibly difficult. My mother just heard on the news, a woman talk about Ocean Springs, the town where Robert lives - there are 400 dead. The only way in is by boat and there are snakes everywhere.

This isn't just a disaster, it's seems biblical. I'm waiting to hear about frogs raining from the sky.

The lack of communcation is a frustration for everyone - with cell phone towers down, no land lines, no television or Internet, it's come down to waving white flags and word of mouth.

We have no idea what the status of Rob's well being, the house, all his properties. The irony is, he wanted to stay behind for the experience of it all. Last we spoke, he was already admitting that the next time a hurricane visited, he would be rid of that urge.

In New Orleans, things are even bleaker. The scene in the Superdome grew increasingly out of control and so, everyone is being shuttled off by bus convoy to the Astrodome in Houston, where it's about 101 degrees. Lousiana Governor Blanco said matter of factly that they had no choice but "to abandon the city."

I sit here in my ergonomically-correct office chair and fidget like I've never fidgeted before. Meanwhile, I get client calls demanding to know why we are not getting more broadcast coverage for Sony's back to school products and I can barely move my lips to say, "I don't know."

It's gotten to the point that I am getting phone calls from friends of mine from out of state, friends of Rob's that I haven't seen since the wedding and increasingly panicked calls and emails from my mother. My father's cell phone doesn't work because he got his phone down in Mississippi, so his service is down as well.

I feel so ineffective and useless here - even more so than usual. My heart aches with worry and my guts are hot with fear. People suffer loss every damn day and why should I be any different?

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